Letter Read
by Vashti
Summary: In a distant future, all that will be left for one of Queen Dorothigale's descendants are letters read.
1. Annual One

**Title:** Letter Read  
**Author:** Vashti  
**Character(s):** DG, Cain, mentions of everyone, OCs  
**Rating:** PG-13  
**Summary:** In a distant future, all that will be left for one of Queen Dorothigale's descendants are letters read.  
**Length:** 9,508 words  
**Disclaimer:** I don't know you. You don't know me. Let's keep it that way. The title is from Rachael Yamagata's "Letter Read". The idea that "Dorothigale" is long for DG comes from chibikaz, who's work you can find on and livejournal.  
**Author's Notes:** This is a work in progress. I have a vague idea of where it's going (always essential to one of my stories) but I don't know how or when or how fast it's going to get there. If for some strange reason you happen to like, please feel free to poke me at will if/when I slow down. Please also feel free to spot-beta as need be. And if it starts getting scary you can even suggest I get an actual beta. meep! However, if you see a screwed up word followed directly by the correct spelling...that's not letting me use strikethroughs.  
**AN2:** "Annual" numbers correspond to years since the Cains left the service of the royal family.  
**AN3:** My thanks to everyone on ohzeebooks community over at livejournal. Your comments will be helping for far into the future :D

* * *

Letter Read  
by Vashti

Chapter 1: Annual One

January 4th

Dear Mr. Cain,

It really sucks that you had to go. I mean I understand and all. You've got your own life to live, a son to catch up with…eyebrows to regrow. It's just that after a year of seeing the same faces just about everyday, you get used to them, y'know? As bad as it was when Raw left only three weeks after the Eclipse, I shoulda known this would suck way bigger. Bigger? Worse? Whatever. The point is you were around a lot longer and the OZ doesn't have, oh, cell phones or the internet or AIM. Because that would rock. Or if you would just run a landline up from town to your house, that could work, too. Because I bet that even if the OZ did have the other stuff, you personally wouldn't. I'd have to keep up with you through Jeb. Heck, I'll probably have to keep up with you through Jeb anyway. Ha!

Anyway, so, like I said….this suck royally, and not just because I'm a princess. Everyone misses you. Okay so mostly me and Glitch (Ambrose…whatever) and the other guards. Particularly my new bodyguards. They want to know how you did it without pulling out your hair. And by yourself no less. I told them that you actually shaved it once just so you wouldn't look weird and Glitch wouldn't feel so bad about being bald, which they weren't too thrilled about seeing as how you got me an all female detailed. Now don't get mad. There were a dozen witnesses and you know it.

Did I mention that I was sorry about your eyebrows still not growing back? *scans top of letter* Whoops! Forgot about that. Sorry!! Look at it this way, though, you'll probably never have to shave again. That's a plus, right?

Oh, and the little starry asterixy things? That's to indicate actions. Which you'd know if the OZ had the internet or AIM or even text messaging. Okay maybe not with texting but…. You've already skipped this paragraph haven't you? Moving on.

Um…gee…kinda out of words to say. Don't you laugh at me, Mr. Cain. I've run out of stuff to say before, plenty of times. Just usually not for very long. And it's not like you've been gone all that long or anything. Anything big that happened here in Central City would have made the news even by you by now. And, yeah, I realize that this isn't exactly a long letter or anything (Mother read this part over my shoulder and walked away trying her best not to laugh. Sweet woman.) but in the land of email this is practically a novel. Maybe next time I'll actually make it to a whole other page.

Oh, y'know, if I ramble on for a little bit here or add a P.S. I bet I can at least turn the page over. Think I can do it? Of course if I just cheat and write really big that would work too. This is kinda like being in school and have to write a 5 page paper, except on the Other Side you don't actually write them out long hand (except for if you're still in grade school, but maybe not even then anymore the way computers are taking over) you type it all up. Then of course you only make it to about 3 and half pages so you have to start messing with the margins and type font and…

And your eyes just glazed over again didn't they. I don't need to see it to know it's happening, I can feel it from here.

Hey! Look! Back of page. Now that I have reached my goal, I can now end the letter. Next time I'll try for substantial. Mother just walked by again. This time she laughed.

*sigh*

Miss You,

DG

P.S. Say hi to Jeb and Amalie! I'd say send pictures but you'd just look at me, and my letter, like I have two heads. It's not my fault you're all anti.

Send sketches!

1/18

Hey Princess, miss you too.

You're right. Never was much for writing. Drove Adora crazy. Made my superior happy. Short reports.

You're wrong about Jeb. Takes after his old man. Drives Amalie crazy, too. Scrap that fell out? Jeb. Novel's from Amalie. A "short note" of thanks for the party. Imagine a real letter. There's something a mite shorter for the Queen and your sister. I trust you'll get it to them.

Give my hellos to Glitch and Raw, your parents and sister. Everyone.

-Wyatt Cain

P.S. Still not having to shave thanks to you. Do miss the eyebrows, though.

February 1st

Dear Mr. Cain,

No more references to the missing eyebrows, kay? You're really freaking out the bodyguards. I mean what do you mean they still haven't grown back?! Glitch's eyebrows (and facial hair) had grown in by the time you left. Of course he shaved it to match yours. Okay, but his hair grew back and that came off in the same lab experiment-gone-wrong that got you. You'd figure eyebrows (and facial hair) which is so much smaller than the rest of your head would have come back by now. So far I've been telling them (the guards) that it takes a long time for mail to get from one end of the OZ to the other and that, by now, you've got a beard to rival Rip van Winkle (dude who slept for a ridiculously long time in an Other Side fairytale. Just work with me.) and your eyebrows need mini-lawn mowers to keep'em down. Definitely Glitch's hair is all whoa nelly. He won't let me have my wicked way with it though. Basically he said, "I got a reputation to maintain, dollface, even if I knows that you know better and barrettes and epaulettes clash." So, basically, I'm not sure if he was worried about his fashion sense or his sense of importance at court. If you're saying both, then I think I'll have to agree with you, Tin Man.

Anyway, I noticed you failed to mention how things were going in Middle of Nowhere, OZ. I must have been griping about it too much during lessons 'cause Tutor was all "If you want to know how things are in the Western regions, Princess DG, then use your magic to find out!" He was all snap-y about it, too. But earlier than usual. I'm tempted to be a little proud of myself, y'know, getting better at getting him to lose it, except I feel bad about being so annoying. So I'm kinda stuck. Az, on the other hand, doesn't know whether to be amused or really amused. Mostly she tells me not to worry about it. "Tutor was high strung when we were children. He's not going to change now." Except when we were kids I was even worse.

If you hear about Tutor having a coronary, you know why.

Suddenly miserable,

DG

2/17

DG,

Tutor was born a grumpy old man, or dog. Take your sister's advice. If she can find it amusing, you should too. You'll have plenty of time to be concerned about how every move you make affects the public later.

And if Tutor survived you as a child, I'm sure his heart's not going anywhere. On the other hand if your mother the Queen asks you about my advice, I told you to be more considerate and dedicated to your studies. Which you should be, but don't overdo it.

-Wyatt Cain

P.S. Thanks for not…y'know…by the way. We appreciate it. Sketches are enclosed.

March 2nd

Dear Mr. Cain,

I'm writing because it's my turn and I've been a slacker loser about responding to your letter and Mother's been giving me the evil eye. The mominator (don't ask) isn't much better. Actually I'm half afraid they're gonna join forces and double-team me. It's a scary thought.

Not that you gave me a whole lot to work with, mister! What was that, a 100 words tops? Just b/c you do taciturn well doesn't mean you, like, have to. It's called a letter, not a brief note. I mean you don't have to pull a Amalie (letter? More like a novel!), but I swear your fingers will not drop off if you make it to the end of the page.

Aaaaand I just checked with Az. She assures me that, as far as she knows, including drawing on some really unpleasant memories from the Witch, there are no spells that'll make your fingers fall off if you reach the end of the page. So how about giving it a try. You know like how when your mom makes something you've never had or you go out to eat and there's like, some crazy fried rings on the plate that look like onion rings but they're calling it calamari and you want to know if it'll kill you or not? What does your mother always say? Try it, you might like it. At least that's the trick Mom always pulled on me. Pop just kinda nodded his head and tucked in, or told us some crazy story about eating live octopus in Seoul or something. Which, by the way…calamari? Yay. Live squid octopus? Sooo not going there. Can you imagine it fighting you while you're trying to swallow? According to the Popsicle they're mini, but that's even worse. I can hear the medical report now: First ever internal asphyxiation. Bleh. I'm all for not and saying we did.

So, um…I guess that's it. If you're looking at this wondering if I really sat down just so I could rant at you, then I guess the answer's yes 'cause I'm done :Þ Your turn bu-ddy.

Sincerely,

DG

P.S. Please give all my love to Jeb and Meli. Tell'em to hurry up with the kids. I want non-cousins to spoil rotten!

P.P.S Mother and Father and Az and Glitch say hi. I haven't heard from Raw in a while, but I'm deciding to go with no news is good news.

P.P.P.S (yes I think this is ridiculous too, but Shane insisted) The bodyguards would like to know if you're "amenable to a retreat in which you will show us the knack of keeping up with the Princess and her ability to slip through a crack too small for water." Seriously, I'm not that bad.

3/14

Princess,

We've seen Raw and his. They passed our way briefly. He's doing well. They might be in the Finaqua way soon as not.

I've had live octopus. Trick is to kill it before it kills you. Ask your father. Both of them.

Yes, Shane and Terry-Ann can come up this way. So long as their replacements are their equal. Ones they think would pass muster with me. Ask Ahamo. Because yes, Princess, you are that bad. I'm lucky to be alive.

No my fingers will not fall off I write something longer. But Hell'd freeze over. So I've been told.

-Cain

March 16th

Dear Mr. Cain,

You have to save me! Right now. It's throw-DG-to-the-wolves season! Yes…the Royal Balls. And the Not So Royal Balls. And the You And Az Need To Put In An Appearance At Least, Dear balls. Then there's the after-parties.

Shoot me. Shoot me dead. Shoot me dead and let me die.

Sincerely,

DG

* * *

3/31

Princess,

Why do you think I left?

Amalie says she has envy, whatever she means by that.

Jeb says it serves you right for making him wear a tux to his wedding.

And I can't kill you. I took an oath and I made a promise. And I agree with Jeb.

Have fun.

Cain

April 12th

Dear Mr. Cain,

I can't remember if it's my turn or not (probably) but since you missed the first Ball of Doom I figured I might as well fill you in anyway.

Disaster! Tragedy! Dooooom!

Okay, maybe not "tragedy" or "doom" and definitely not with all those o's (actually once I started looping the o's it…well it was easy to get carried away is all), but definitely a disaster. Do not believe the note that Az is bound to put in with my letter that it was not, in fact, a disaster. Just because the roof didn't cave in and we weren't attacked by renegade Longcoats doesn't mean that it still wasn't an horrible horrible event that could have been avoided. How you ask (even if you're not asking)? By not having the ball of course.

First: they made me wear a dress. Yes, I know, I actually wear them sorta kinda vaguely regularly, but only when Mother makes me or we're having fancy folk over— And I can hear you saying "Ball is full of fancy folk, kiddo." If you're seeing me making a face at you then we're on the same page because I am, buddy. I so am.

Anyway…dress of doom. I won't deny that it was pretty, I just would have thought it was prettier on someone else. Az for example. When I tried to push it off on her, though, she was all "My chest is too buxom for me to fit into a dress intended for you, little sister." When I tried to push it off on Mother she pointed out that "It clashes with my eyes, dear heart." Which was her democratic way of saying her dress was prettier.

Say it with me: Grr. Argh. (Which, by the way, you do really well. I've roped Glitch into saying it with me but he's always on the verge of laughing when he does it, which makes me giggle and then he really does laugh and, well, you can see how it's not the same.)

I'm going to spare you a description of the dress, except to say…sleeveless! Strapless! Okay so there was a really pretty (really outrageously pretty) wrap that went with it, and I clung to it the way you hold on to that hat, but I knew that I didn't have proper sleeves. And trying to appeal to Mom? No help. She went off to find the Popsicle and a camera. Which she didn't need to find—the camera at least—because the Royal Photographer was, like, all over the freaking place. Everywhere I turned, blinding flash of light. At some point I stepped _all over_ Aha Father's shoes. Of course that mortified the three turds who were preening and picking at their jesses, trying to get me to pick on of them to dance with, so that was alright. Heck, maybe I should have had the photographer follow me around and blind me every time the suitors decided to descend on mass. I'll keep in mind for next time.

Speaking of The Suitors (and as soon as I come up with the perfect snarky name for them, I am all over it) they made me want to pull my hair out. Which I couldn't because Elise went to sooo much trouble to get it sit up on my head and look all pretty (a problem that Az says she never has because her hair was scared into compliance a long time ago by the Witch. A statement that is both funny and a little heebie-jeebie.) So I couldn't pull my hair out, and with you not there to scare them away they were a _huge_ contribution to the endless night of doom. I don't know if Mother sent out a notice that you weren't gonna be there, or maybe it was in the small print on the invitations, but, like, srsly, they were crowding around like hunting dogs that found the fox. Except, hello, I'm not a fox.

And hopefully "fox" doesn't have the same connotation here as it does on the Other Size Side.

Actually there was one bright spot in the entire ordeal. I met someone I could actually talk to like a normal person! I know. I'm shocked, too. Everyone else is Princess-DG-this and Your-Royal-Highness-that. I swear I'm just waiting for someone to get overbalanced by their big hair and go teapot over teakettle, or however you say "legs up in the air and underwear flashing." Yeah. I'm waiting for that to happen, because it so is! Do these people have no self-respect?

You know if I had a different kind of mother, say a robotic one, I'd have gotten slapped upside my head for that last one. As it is, I feel a lecture coming on. It's just…frustrating! Fine, I'm a princess. Hot stuff. I haven't played the part of a princess for the last _fifteen years!_ Cycles. Whatever! I'm a grease monkey. Say it with me folks, _grease monkey_. And I'm totally cool with that. And I understand that I was born into the royal family and that automatically means I have certain responsibilities – I was raised on a farm, responsibility I understand – but does that mean I have suddenly become this new person to make everyone happy?

All right, rant over now. At least on paper. I'm gonna let my mirror have it later tonight.

But back to the decent person I met! So I'm running from the hounds and looking for a safe haven (basically Ah Father, Az or Glitch) which is not easy, can I tell you! It's not fair that I have to stand in the receiving line. It just gives everyone a chance to check out what I'm wearing which makes hiding later on much harder. I'm sure if I had a big strong Tin Man to hide behind…

Anyway, I did finally find Glitch who was talking to some guy who seemed to be pretty decent since he was making Glitch laugh. So Glitch spotted me and introduced us: "DG! Where've you been. Hey, meet Jason! Jason, you know DG right?" Which of course he did, and I probably had met him already but couldn't place him for the life of me. Didn't matter. He was great fun. Totally snarky and got my weird sense of humor, and was willing to run with the incomprehensible Other Side references with only mild looks of confusion. He too is waiting for someone to go falling over the next time they do one of those crazy extravagant bows. Aaaand he was willing to dance with me when the hounds finally found me and started circling. I know you're probably thinking he was just trying to make a move, but no way. He spotted Father, asked me if I'd rather go that-away and handed me off. The next time I saw him, he and Glitch were in a corner looking at some big scroll-y map-y thing. I think I have finally found a friend. Hello miracle. Not that I don't love all of you guys, and admittedly I had a pretty narrow circle of friends back on the Other Side, but I was starting to think I'd never find someone who'd treat me like a normal person. Not including Elise. Or Shane and Terry-Ann. Or the royal seamstress (but apparently she treats everyone like "an ill-mannered child" as Az put it). Oh and Glitch's lab assistants actually may not like me. I didn't tell you my most recent adventure did I? Next letter. It'd take waaaaaaay too long to go through here. And I'm not really sure if I'm allowed to talk about it.

Anyway, that's it for me. It's late. My feet hurt like you wouldn't believe, and Glitch refused to give me a piggy-back ride. (Father totally carried Mother upstairs. I'm jealous.)

Sincerely pooped,

DG

April 19th

Dear Mr. Cain,

One week of grand balls down, another two to go. ANOTHER THREE TO GO! Lord love a duck, Shane heard me reading while writing (don't you laugh at me, Wyatt Cain) and corrected my selective memory. A month? Really? I don't remember all of this being a month long last year, do you? Or maybe I thought that was just b/c of all the, y'know, Aren't We All Glad That Things Are Sorta Back To Normal balls. No, apparently this _is_ normal. Gag me with a spoon.

Well now that I have something new to freak out over…how's it going with you guys? I know the last letter hasn't gotten to you yet. I figure it takes about two weeks? So these two will be coming right on each other's heels, but I don't think I asked you about you at all in that one. It was more rant than letter. Sorry! I think I'm still more used to emails than snail mail…instant reply instead of monthly reply. I was gonna say you'd love email (Glitch would love email. He'd love the entire digital revolution. He'd totally be Keanu Reeves in that movie with a port in the back of his head that lets him store gobs and gobs of data. And if you had any idea what I was talking about, you would so agree with me.) but probably not. Too intrusive. The Mominator always complained that it was just something else to do. And, okay, on a working farm it is, but it was about the only way I could keep up with the couple of friends I had in high school who went away to college.

And that is the end of me moping.

Right, so, how were you again?

Tell Jeb and Amalie that I miss them. I miss anyone who could make Az laugh without looking like she was trying. It's like a big chunk of my family up and relocated without you guys here. If you guys could make it to the last week of the balls that'd be fab. I mean it's short notice and all but…

Anyway…

Sincerely not begging for reinforcements,

DG

April 22nd

Dear Mr. Cain,

Welcome to the second week of balls. First one of the week is later tonight and I'm already dead on my feet. Why me? Oh, right, royal.

Gag.

More letter later after coffee.

~DG

I've had about three cups of coffee in the last hour. Between bouncing off the walls and running to the little girl's room every two seconds I am a wreck. Which I said out loud while the royal seamstress was fixing a hem I stepped on a couple of days ago, and she was all "More like a wrecking ball." I think I would have been offended if it wasn't true. And kinda funny. I laughed at least. Az was in the room but I don't think she heard. She's been finding all this stuff funny. And by all this stuff I mean me freaking out. I think last year she was having her own private freak out, but now that people have basically stopped trying to assassinate her, she's really relaxed. That or she's high on the…um…vapors? I can't exactly ask someone. Mention vapors and suddenly people start looking at you funny. Or asking you just how pure you want it. I've already gotten one footman fired, I don't want to know what anyone else does on their personal time even if it is turning their brain into swiss cheese.

Stop looking at this letter like that. If I know of anyone, I'll report them. What else am I supposed to do, start a covert operation to find out who's on or who's not? Isn't that like—

No. I'm stopping there. No getting mad at you when you haven't even actually glared at me yet. Omigod…I'm having a speculative argument! Is that good or bad?

Anyway…ball. Wish me something. Like the roof caving in.

Sincerely,

DG

April 23rd

Dear Mr. Cain,

Jayson (with a Y!!!!) is a lifesaver. Between him and Glitch and Father, they basically managed to take your place. It's not the same with you giving everyone the evil eye over my head (don't deny it, I can feel it) but I had way more fun dancing with the three of them than I did dancing with everyone else. As expected Mother and Az kept making me talk to some of the hounds. Every now and then even Father passed me off to someone, but at least I felt like he was being a little more discriminatory. That whole stint in the Realm of the Unwanted has made him rather picky, his words not mine. Az, I think, is purposely putting me with the most awkward guys possible. Not one boring choice among any of her picks. Some I've wanted to strangle, sure, but no one boring. Don't worry, Glitch was hovering waiting to bust heads if anyone tried to get fresh. Well maybe bust heads is too strong. Do you remember that guy from…from… Uh! Me and my brain. I'll remember where he's from when I go down for my lessons, just watch. Anyway, remember the one you kept watching like a hawk at the Winter Ball when I asked you to stop being a "creepy stalker dude?" Glitch almost broke his hand! I swear I was going to do it first if he kept moving his hand to places where hands don't go during waltzes, but Glitch got to him first. Good riddance. I mean even if we were having a thing I don't want him feeling me up in front of my parents and friends and _complete freaking strangers_!!! Jerk.

Anyway, all I got for now. Are you guys still sending Amalie alllll that long way to the palace by her lonesome in time for the last ball of the season? I mean I know she's staying for a week, but don't you think she'll want an escort or something? *whistles innocently*

Sincerely,

DG

P.S. in case you were wondering, I have no idea how much coffee I've had today (long night) but if this sounds hyper I'm pretty sure it's the platter full of cookies I polished off by myself. Mmm gingerbread.

4/30

Princess,

You have a talent for understatement, kiddo. Ambrose's letter was about 2 pages long. Do my old heart a favor: stay away from the jerk. Amalie has threatened bodily harm, to me, if she ends up wasting her trip visiting me in the Central City jail.

Otherwise, glad you're having fun. Give Jayson my hellos.

-Cain

P.S. You really sure it's Jayson with a Y?

* * *

5/1

Princess,

Bound and determined to get a long letter out of me, aren't you? Fine. You win. This time. Don't plan on sending multiple letters all at once working again.

So…

Already said my piece about Jayson, and about the Lord Jerk and won't go into again.

The Dress: I'm sure you were beautiful. In all of your dresses. I can't imagine either the Queen or your sister would let you out in public looking anything less.

The Suitors: It might help if you keep a pistol in your purse. Unloaded. You just want to scandalize'em, not cause an incident. If you do it, this is not advice you got from me.

The Nobility: You're the Crown Princess. Short of bankrupting the country and not letting them in on it, there's not much you can do that they won't get over pretty quick. 'Course as I'm reviewing your letters I don't see that you mentioned them at all. But I'd be surprised they weren't on your mind.

Fifteen years, cycles, whatever: They're called annuals, sweetheart. And no one's expecting you to change overnight. Maybe in their heart of hearts, but I think most are just happy to have you home and see that you're trying. Your family loves you and your people love you. There's neither one that won't give you the time you need. But you've got to remember your own words. It's been fifteen annuals, kid. Even if you remembered your entire childhood, that's all it was. Just your childhood. You did all your growing on the Other Side. Now you've got to learn to do your living here. If that's what you've set yourself to do. And it seems like it is.

"Fox": Used to call Adora that all the time.

Your father's choice in men: Ahamo's a good man and trustworthy. He's only got your best interest at heart and always has. If you find yourself startin' to think on someone with any kind of seriousness, I'd run'im by him. I'm not sayin' every guy he pushes on you is going to be Mr. Perfect, but I doubt you'll need to pull a firearm on him either.

Your sister's choice in men: Older siblings have a perverse sense of humor when it comes to their younger sibling's relationships. Least that's how it was in my family. Keep the firearm handy.

Us: Jeb and Amalie are all right, though I expect you know that already I didn't know mail could move across the Zone that fast. Spring's coming so things are starting to bloom, crops are starting to poke their heads up outta the ground and folks around here generally start getting itchy. I keep getting ready to give the kids advice but then they work it out before I'm even sure of what the problem is. Two years just hasn't been enough time.

Unsolicited advice: Lay off the sugar.

-Cain

May 13th

Dear Mr. Cain,

It's a good thing you send your letters (two!) with Amalie or we would have totally crossed in the mail. Heck, I'd still be waiting another couple of days by my math. And it probably helps that I sent your letters with Ami's package because you'd still be waiting for your set. Really if you weren't so dead set against magical delivery this whole letter exchange could take a couple of days (it's takes me a while to remember to send) instead of a couple of weeks. But fine, whatever, what do I know.

And lay off the sugar, my left foot! It's caffeine or sugar (I'm not allowed to have both anymore except in my first cup of joe) and there's no way I'm making it through the day without one or the other.

So as you probably know already I was sick. Sick! I'll have you know that the roborents had me immunized against measles, mumps and rubella, and then I actually managed to _avoid_ getting chicken pox, don't ask me how, only to come _here_ and get, like, the OZ version of same. Why do I say the OZ version of the dreaded pox? Because when it came out in my last year of junior high that I'd never had the pox the high school wouldn't let me in without getting a vaccine. Which, of course, I got despite assuring my parents the 'rents that I didn't really need any more schooling than what I could learn in a garage. A vaccine that I lost an entire weekend too, please let me add. Why? Because, apparently, I'm mildly allergic to the chicken pox vaccine and so it made my upper arm swell up like a nerf baseball bat. Or a club. Or whatever inordinately large stick-y thingy you guys have over here. Don't you have baseball? I could have sworn I saw Father and bunch one of the courtiers sitting around talking about runs and stuff. Do they have runs in cricket? Geez that just sounds wrong.

Anyway, the point is I suffered for that stupid chicken pox vaccine. _Only to get the pox here!!!_ Argh! Grr! Some days it seems like nothing about the Zone is working in my favor.

On the other hand I did get to miss out on the closing ball of the season. You have no idea how relieved I was. Okay, maybe you have a very small idea, but the full impression of my joy and…and…overwhelming happiness was big. Huge. I mean by then I'd gotten the OZ version of a vaccine (Mother's light-enhanced hand on my forehead and a kiss, and some chicken soup from the Mominator just to make sure it all stuck) which was so much better than the Other Side version. Did I mention that the same weekend I had the monster-arm, my best friend's family came to visit and her evil cousin punched me in the monster-arm? If I had been able to stand up straight I would have laid him out. As it was I had to wait until the end of summer when his family came back around.

Anyway, back to the story: So…missed the closing ball, got fussed over by two moms in a good way, got to spend major quality time with everyone (except you and Jeb, you big…annoying people) and only had a temperature of 100 degrees for a day or two. It was great!

I'm guessing you don't want to hear about me and Amalie hanging out together before I came down with the OZ-pox, so I'll spare you that. Um…what else…? Introduced Ami to Jayson when we went down to see Glitch (his lab staff is still unhappy with me. You blow up one lab and ruin a handful of ongoing experiments and suddenly you're persona get-outta). She thought he was okay when she could understand what he was talking about. I'm telling you, I don't know who's going to be more sad when Jayson has to back to wherever it is that he comes from: him or Glitch. I would have added myself to the list, b/c you can never have enough safe ports in a storm, but now that dancing season's over I can back down my attachment a notch or four.

Of course, if dancing season's over you're probably wondering what the heck Jayson's still doing in town. I actually don't know. But his dad and brother's still here, so maybe they stayed for, like, official stuff. And you know all sorts of things go on in Central City during the Spring and Summer. Maybe they have rounds to make or something. I swear I do not remember him existing before this year. Oh well. Like he said, it was his brother that was foisted off on me last year so this was probably our first time, like, seriously meeting and talking and stuff. Luckily his brother's this close to getting married to some noble or other (whose name I should probably know) and thus I'm saved.

Um, what else?

I'm finally starting to feel better. Amalie was great, fantastic company. But it only made me miss the Cain _men_ more so you and Jeb have to gout get out of your little corner of the universe and come back and _see us_! I'm not the only one who misses you, y'know. I'm sure there's a whole contingent of Tin Men who miss you. And don't think I don't know that the letters Shane sends you every week are full of "How in the world did you handle her? Where do we go wrong? Why do you hate us so much?" I know Shane and Terry-Ann really appreciated that week they got to spend training with you (really, am I that bad?) but I bet the other guards would like some Cain-quality time too.

Great, I'm starting to sound like a really pitiful brochure. "Come see lovely Central City. We miss you. We need you. Save us from psychotic princesses!"

Sincerely,

DG

5/16

DG,

Nothing's wrong with the Ozian mail.

Amalie told us all about "the pox." Sounds like you're a miserable patient, kid, despite all the "good" mothering you got.

The kids appreciate the pictures. Jeb and Amalie didn't have except for what was taken at the wedding. Jeb keeps one handy of Amalie all dressed up.

See what you mean about Az. I can tell which balls Amalie attended by whether or not Azkadellia's smiling. Girl's something special, sure. Don't know how my hard-headed son won her over. But Az needs to get more involved. I know you know. I'm just sayin'.

-Cain

June 6th

Dear Mr. Cain,

In your last letter you said that Az should get more involved. And I totally agree. I just don't know if it's gonna work. Or how it's gonna work. Because she can't stay cooped up in the palace all the time. It's gonna drive her schizoid. As if she doesn't have enough problems as it is.

Anyway, all I know is that my sister has a broken leg (which she refuses to let mother fix the magical way) because her horse, which was checked that very morning by our groomsman, threw her. And why did it throw her? Because it had lost a shoe out of nowhere. Some people say accident. I say clever assassination attempt. Which is freaking scary.

Mad as Heck,

DG

June 7th

Dear Mr. Cain,

Before you totally freak out, here's stuff from Dad and Captain Adderton with all the new security measures and stuff. Unfortunately they call for a lot more inside-time for Az. Grr!

Sincerely,

DG

June 7th again,

Okay so it was a freak accident. But we can't keep living like this. _Az_ can't keep living like this. We're having a big meeting tomorrow—Mother, Dad, Az, Glitch, Captain Adderton and three of his lieutenants—to figure out what we can do so that Az can have more freedom without freely giving someone a chance to kill her. Did I mention that assassination attempts were never mentioned in any of the Disney movies as possible hazards of becoming a princess.

Az is more withdrawn than ever. After I fired off my note to you I spent most of the morning with her. I tried talking but she wasn't really holding up her end of the conversation very well. She didn't look sad or out of it, but really, really thoughtful. Which, I am learning, can be really bad.

I don't know what to do.

DG

6/23

DG,

Course you're frustrated, kid. And mad enough to spit. Do it, too, if someone gets close enough.

I also know the OZ's got a long way to go before it heals. Attempts on Azkadellia's life are part of it. Not that it's right. I still say we shoulda hanged the bastard that tried to shoot her from the wall.

Take a page from the Queen. It's not easy, but forgiving never is. The OZ can't be torn apart by war. Again.

Azkadellia already knows, and that's she's thinking so hard. Just make sure not to leave her alone too much.

-Cain

* * *

July 23rd

Dear Mr. Cain,

I know it's been a long time. A month since you sent your letter (although, really? I'm being extremely generous by calling this one sided sheet of scrap paper a whole letter).

I don't really know what I mean to say. It's really late here. It mighat might actually be the 24th, I dunno, but I felt the need to write you so I am. It's not the same as when you were here of course. I'm sure you get tired of saying that, but the Mominator always told the old biddies at the Senior Center that it just wasn't the same if one of them was missing. They ate it up like you wouldn't believe. I guess I didn't really understand what she meant. Even when everyone's here and all together (which is ridiculously hard to do, can I tell you) _you're_ not here and Jeb's not here. Particularly you. I mean I love Jeb and Ami to pieces. If Ami ever needed adopting I'd be petitioning the Royal Parents to take her in—she makes Az laugh, she pretends to understand what I'm saying and actually _does_ understand what Glitch is saying. And Jeb is just so…himself. I have never met a more confident, self-possessed guy his age in my entire life. I know you guys are master carpenters and woodsmen and all that jazz, but if I could steal Jeb away from you and Ami and make him my advisory (and not have my conscious beat me up over it) I so would. But neither of them are you. And neither of them will ever be you. Just like you can't be either of them.

And, wow, that was…more than I thought it'd be. I'm sorry. This can't sleepness is just…doing weird things to me writing. Probably a bad idea to write while semi-conscious in the first place.

Thre' There'lll There will be a better letter next time. Promise.

DG

8/7

DG,

Time flies. Life gets busy. I understand. Just don't overwork yourself. Rest is more important than you think it is. And usually the way your body lets you know you've overdone it is by shutting down on you.

How's your sister doing? And parents? Both sets. Glitch?

Miss you, too.

-Cain

August 21

Dear Mr. Cain,

Admit it, you're trying to see just how little you can get away with in each letter. That has got to be the shortest letter I have ever seen! It doesn't even count as a letter! Az has passed me longer notes at dinner. My mother, the _Queen_, has passed me longer notes in meetings with _dignitaries_. I waited two weeks for a corner-napkin note?

Dude. Seriously?

Anyway to answer your questions, even though by now you could've read all about everyone's health in _Ozian Times_ by now. Really, what do you have against magic-mail? It's even faster than email. You get a lot less spam. Show's up in the same spot everyday and, now, I hardly ever scorch desks or wherever your designated mail spot is. And I swear I only almost set fire to Amalie's and Jeb's mail that one time. I didn't have to rewrite it or anything. Perfectly fine and dandy.

Right, so the fam: Az is still kinda chafing under the enforced in-time. I can't exactly blame her. She wasn't exactly going out a whole heck of a lot before but now it's ridiculous. Captain Adderton and Dad are promising that she can pretty much do what she wants to when we go out to Finaqua next week at the end of the week. They figure between the lake and needing one of us to get through the maze alive she's pretty safe. I hope so. The palace at Central City is supposed to be safe too but we see how well that worked out. Not that it's Captain Adderton's fault. Or anyone's fault I guess. It's just… You know. Azkadellia is my sister and I want more than what's best for her, I want her to be happy.

Mom and Dad are fine. Mom's not looking so great. I mean she's doing fantastic, all things considered, but that little stunt she pulled saving my life and all cost her about 20 years. At least that's what the doctors were saying last time I cornered one in a stairwell. And then of course there's whatever the Witch did. I switch between getting depressed and angry whenever I think about it. If there was anyone I could blast into the wall for this I would, but I look at myself in the mirror and I just can't manage it.

I'm joking, joking. Stop making that face.

Back to Mom and Dad The First… Dad's regular. He and I are getting along better every day. It's kinda weird. Remember how I told you that Mom and Robo-Mom were chummy? If only that's how it was with Dad. It's like he's their long lost son. Which would make them my grandparents? And it's right around that thought where my eyes glaze over and my brain turns to goo. Whenever I see Popsicle trying to teach Dad how to do something I just kinda put my brain on auto-pilot and try to enjoy the moment without, y'know, _analyzing_ it or anything. Not easy. Hard to sotp stop analyzing when that's all you do all day. When not working on making my inner-princess my outer-princess without also making my inner-breakfast my outer-breakfast.

Glitch: Now that Jayson's long gone and I've been officially banned from the labs (his assistants petitioned Mom) I hardly see him. Every now and then one of them manages to actually get him to take a meal outside the lab, but who knows if anyone has managed to get the rest of us to take a meal outside our own "labs" so… It can be a little crazy. Mostly I see Glitch in the hall.

Speaking of the hall! So one day I'm walking in the hall and there's Glitch surrounded by, like, a cloud of lab techs and assistants and official type people wearing clothes that really should mean something to me but still haven't quite sunk in yet. Anyway, so there they are and here I am with my own mini-entourage (just Terry-Ann and three courtiers who were boring the living daylights out of me) and I'm already half trying to figure out how we're all going to fit through the hall. They're wide halls, as you know, but it half looked like Glitch had his entire staff in the hall with him. The way it should have gone was that me and Terry and the courtiers would stand aside while Glitch and Co. passed us. Except I knew they'd wait for us to go first because I'm the stinkin' Princess of the Outer Zone and all that junk. And so we're approaching and they're approaching and I can see how some of Glitch's people have finally spotted us and they're seeing the same problem that I'm seeing and it's just starting to get awkward.

Then out of nowhere Glitch appears out of this, like, cloud of people, takes my around the waist and just starts _dancing_ with me! Like ballroom dancing. He actually danced me right through his people, halfway down the hall. And me, of course, I'm laughing my head off but Glitch is just looking all Ambrose-y which makes it about ten times funnier and…and it was great. Perfect. To this day I have no idea why he did it but I'm so glad he did. I'd been having a crappy day and hadn't had a chance to tell anyone about it and…I needed the laugh. And the dance.

Uh, who'd I miss? *checks letter brief note* The Roborents! Mominator and Popsicle are doing great. Apparently they're in, like, amazing condition. I think they're going to take their own vacay in Milltown when we go to Finaqua. They've been here all this time since after Azkadellia's guys got them fixed back right (they still have a real thing for Az, too. I swear they're just so ridiculously happy to be back in the OZ they're willing to adopt us all) and haven't been back to Milltown since. I mean I know Popsicle mostly talked about it to, like, prep me for coming back here but it's a robot town. It's their hometown. They gave me everything. It's nice to be able to give them something back. Something better than a cut out dinosaur (giant green lizard thing…just go with me) on a popsicle stick with my name on it. I want them to be happy, too.

And that's all the news that fits on—wow, two and three-quarters pieces of parchment. Go me!

Sincerely,

DG

9/5

DG,

You want Azkadellia to be happy right now but Captain Adderton and Ahamo want her to be happy in the longterm. It'll work out.

Outer-princess vs. Outer-breakfast: I have faith in you, kid. You always could do whatever you set yourself to even if you risked all our lives. Just don't forget to aim. Away from Tutor.

Mom and Dad The First: Do they know that you call them that? Right. Dumb question.

Length of my letters: Hell already almost froze over once. I'm not tempting fate again.

Jeb and Amalie say hi. You probably already know that Amalie's expecting.

-Cain

September 27

Dear Mr. Cain,

Pfft! Course I know Ami's expecting! I probably knew like an hour after you and Jeb did. Unlike some people I know, Ami and Jeb aren't afraid of modern magical technology.

Anyway… Anyway I don't know. It's really late right now and I can't sleep and I've been meaning to write you for days, but now that I can (at the very minor expense of sleep) I'm too braindead to do it. Argh. It's kinda sad that all I've got in me is one good finger wagging. You'd think after almost 2 yeras years of princess lessons I'd be better at the tongue lashing thing. Or paper-and-pencil lashing as the case may be. Actually I'm not half bad, and that has more to do with waitressing and being a general menace to small-town society than from formal lessons on verbal evisceration. (Hope I spelled that right.)

And I just… Oh God, Cain. I just don't know. We're staying in Finaqua until about Christmas time or maybe Thanksgiving (you guys should totally come for Thanksgiving since no one in your village is going ot to know what you're talking obut about if you guys try it there) and then it's back to Central City for the holidays. Az has been okay while we're here, but I don't want things to go back to the way they were when we go back. And I… It's just different here. Not that Finaqua's any less busy. Not since we made it less of a summer home and more of a second capitol. But it's still got a totally different atmosphere. Even visiting people, dignitaries and petitioners and officials and whatnot, can sense it. They may be pissed off at Mom but they don't go stomping through the halls saying it loud and proud. Okay so they probably weren't doing that in CC, but, y'know. Just different. And I don't want to go back.

I want a real vacation, Cain. A vacation from me. Just for a little while. But thee's thes there's so much to do and so much I don't know. just when it think I've got it, I don't. I so don't.

And I'm having trouble sleeping. I've been having trouble sleeping.

DG

* * *

November 1st

Dear Mr. Cain,

If it weren't for the fact that I know you broke your arm from Ami's and Jeb's letters I'd be a little pissed at you. I have heard from you in months. It's _my_ job to drop the ball in this letter writing thing we've got going, not yours. You're the Tin Man. You're the one on top of things…prompt, um, timely. Concise!

You're two months behind, mister! (This is of course ignoring the fact that Amalie sent me a letter the morning after you broke your arm way back last month, and Jeb mentioned it in his letter that weekend and I'm just now writing you a month later, and you won't even get this letter for, like, a week and half because you refuse to let me send you letters any way but the slow way. You know, you have put a whole new spin on the term "snail mail" Cain, even if you have no idea what I'm talking about.)

It's funny, I keep expecting the footman to bring in a letter from you every morning even though I know good and well it's your right arm that's in a cast. Which totally sucks, you know. If you were home that could be fixed up ASAP and you could be back to your carpentry stuff, like, within a couple of days. I asked Az about it, but she directed me to Mom. Kind of wish I hadn't. She got a really dark look and said that she hadn't really studied the healing arts. Which, of course, the minute she said I wanted to yank my foot out of my mouth but too late. So I did ask Mom. And she said that even someone with as little magic as Tutor could fix your arm within an hour or so, but it'd still be tender for a couple of days and not really up to heavy manual labor.

Of course in the time it would take you to get there from here, your arm would heal on its own. Did you purposely move too far away to make regular visiting here difficult?

Anyway, I'm really not trying to pick at you. Delay meeting with some dignitaries, yes. Completely "forget" a meeting with the seamstress for more fittings for the Winter Ball (are you guys coming?), yes. Pick at you…? Okay, maybe a little bit.

I've heard a rumor that Raw and his people are going to be in your general vicinity soon. Tell them hi for me when you see them. I already asked Ami to give him a hug for me, so you're cleared.

Hoping you feel better by the time this finally gets to you,

DG

11/17

DG,

Was wondering if I'd get a letter out of you.

To answer your unspoken question: We don't have anyone magical out here. Too remote. Folks mostly like it that way, so it's no worry at all. Local doc's a good guy. Practiced medicine in Central City under the Sorceress'. Couldn't handle it after a while and joined others fleeing to the countryside. Did a lot of moving around, a lot of helping folks in exchange for lodging and food, some work with the Rebellion, eventually moved out this way maybe a year after me and Jeb and Amalie got here.

-Cain

December 5th

Cain, sometimes I swear I don't know which is more frustrating: you or your letters!

DG

December 10th

Dear Mr. Cain,

I have been at turns tempted to just send that little piece of a note to you (see how you like it) and burn it up. You are frustrating, though. Don't think you're getting off that hook any time soon.

You never answered the question about whether you guys are coming to Central City for the Winter festivities. Christmas won't be the same without you guys.

Come home. Just for a little while. Please.

Sincerely,

DG

December 12th

Dear Mr. Cain,

I just received a letter from Jeb…him and Ami are coming to the winter ball and they're staying until the new year celebrations. That's like two and half weeks. You're coming with them, aren't you? You can't stay out there in the woods, in the middle of nowhere, for almost three weeks by yourself. That's just unreasonable. And boring. And lonely.

And did I mention unreasonable? I know you're pigheaded, Cain, but c'mon. It'll be a year since I've seen you. A whole year! Just think of the misadventures you've missed out on. The limbs that have, except for you breaking your own arm, been largely safe from harm. The hair that you will never have to fear regrowing…or fear will never stop growing. Which, um, yeah…Dad will never have to worry about going bald. Ever.

I even managed to convince the guards to let me out of the palace long enough to pick up gifts for everyone. And Az is having such a good moment right now. Having you here would just put the icing on the cake, y'know? Raw will be back some time around February/March when his people swing this way again, just in time for Spring, but otherwise it'll be everyone. Glitch has got a girlfriend. They're extremely cute and geeky around each other. I don't care what he's telling you in his letters, it's not the same as seeing them live. Most of the conversation goes over my head, even when they're talking mechanical type stuff, but somehow in all that geek-speak they're whispering (or shouting, if the lab's blown up again) sweet nothings to each other…just out in the open where we can all hear but not understand.

Come home, Cain. Just for Christmas.

Miss you,

DG

December 15th

Dear Mr. Cain,

Even if you're not coming it wouldn't kill you to send a reply letter saying so. I know you hate the letter-glass Jeb and Amalie use but…

I don't know what to say, Cain. It's not going to be the same without you. Everyone will be here _but_ you. Half of what has made this year without you bearable is knowing that you'd be here for Christmas, even if you couldn't stay for the new year.

And now you're not even answering my letters. I expected different from you, Cain. I expected…

I don't know. I guess what I thought I knew, I didn't. I guess.

DG

December 16th

Ignore what I said before. It's not too late to make it here in time if you leave _right now_. Don't worry about clothes. You know we have plenty of stuff that will fit you. And you can use this letter to requisition a ride once you get out of the sticks and into a proper town. Just come home for Christmas. Jeb and Ami are here. You're going to miss your own kids for Christmas. Don't do it. Come home.

(tbc)

* * *

AN4: If you don't want to wait six months to read the next chapter, please check out my homepage every once in a while for updates. I'm posting the letters in sections there, but only posting whole "annuals" here. Besides, the strikethroughs carry over there. ;)


	2. Interlude: Big Purple Eyes

Interlude: Big Purple Eyes 

Tears closed up her throat even though she had read the letters dozens and dozens of times and could recite some of them by heart. Particularly Wyatt Cain's.

She'd stumbled across the letters hiding way back in the royal archives of the library when she was ten annuals old, and had sped through them twice before she realized that they were her Great-Mother Dorothigale's _actual_ letters. Since then she'd read them all at least once an annual for the last six. Those first couple of annuals she'd read them several times. Now she tended to just read them in sections—sometimes her favorites, sometimes the ones that seemed to speak to her at the moment, sometimes whichever annual she'd neglected longest. Usually she'd read them all by the end of the annual.

Reading the letters was also one of her favorite ways of getting "lost." The magic in the library could sense the age and fragility of the letters, and though they could be handled without fear in the archives she couldn't take them beyond the archives. She couldn't even take them out into the rest of the library. It was either read them there where they were safe, or not read them at all. Which wasn't too bad. Since it wasn't like the letters were the only fragile pieces in the archive, it was made so that the scribes and researchers could work _in_ the room with lots of tables and chairs and reading lamps and stuff.

She didn't bother with the tables and the chairs and the lamps. She liked reading the letters right where she'd first found them: way, way in the back of the section devoted to her family. She'd snag a couple of cushions from the library proper, set a couple of light globes floating over her head, and pull out the two letter glasses. It was no wonder that most people hadn't read either sets of letters in forever. And she wouldn't have read them either if she hadn't accidentally knocked one over while trying to reach behind them for genealogical scrolls. Since there were scrolls all over the place with all sorts of information, she hadn't even been sure that the scrolls behind the heavy rectangular glass stands were the ones she wanted. And, since she hadn't exactly inherited the tall family aspect, it had been a bit of a stretch. Luckily the glass top had fallen on the cushioned chair she'd dragged over just in case she needed the leverage…spilling its hidden contents.

She remembered exclaiming over the find—she'd heard of letter glasses but had never seen one—and immediately digging in. She would have kept right on going, too, except she _had_ been in the archive for a purpose. And that purpose was calling her name, wanting to know what was taking her so long to find those genealogy scrolls.

Wiping her eyes, she stood and stretched. Her corner was comfortable but it was a corner, after all, on the floor, up against two converging bookshelves. The light globes bobbed and danced around her head like small suns, moving as she did. With a final stretch she gathered together the first annual's worth of letters to put them back.

The thing about reading the first annual was that she _had_ to read the second as well. No way she could just leave herself on a cliffhanger. And even knowing what came next, she needed to read the rest of it. Needed to. Still, it was tempting to read some of Great-Mother Azkadellia's letters next. But they were nowhere near as orderly as Great-Mother Dorothigale's. It was always a bit of a memory game trying to figure out what came when and how one letter related to another, or even if it did. She should have started with those first. Later then.

Standing in front of the letter glass, she sorted through the ribbon-bound annuals. Every now and then she wondered who had put the letters together (clearly not the same person who had put together Great-Mother Azkadellia's) and if any other of the Great-Mother's correspondence was hiding in another letter glass someplace.


	3. Annual Two: January

Chapter 2: Annual Two: January

1/10

DG,

I'm sorry. This letter's finding you about two weeks too late for it to be a proper apology, but it's the best I've got. I'm even going to send it by letter glass, as soon as the kids are up.

It was never my intention to disappear on you. I thought for sure the kids would tell you that I wasn't going to be able to come, but that's my own fault too.

I can't remember now if I told you, but I've had a couple of offers on the old cabin. Or maybe Jeb mentioned it. Anyway, Jeb and I have been talking about it. It's his home more than it is mine even if the property's in my name. It wouldn't feel right just giving it to anyone. Especially with Adora still there.

We'd finally settled on this young couple. They can't be any older than Jeb and Ami but it's hard to remember that. Even sitting down talking about them with Jeb, we talk about them like they're kids fresh from their folks' houses. Not because they're so fresh faced and naïve. They seem fragile. You can look at them and tell the Sorceress' reign was real hard on them. They want some place out of the way and far off the beaten path, and don't seem to mind the hardship of it. Gotta admit, the cabin's pretty far out without being completely away from civilization. They'll have to really want to make the trip though.

That happened the last weekend in November. Carl and Leanne showed up at the house two weeks later while Jeb and Ami were in town. They'd just found out Leanne's pregnant and they wanted to move into the cabin sooner than planned. Trying to beat the deep winter snow. I knew Jeb wouldn't mind, so I told them okay. When I asked them if they were riding off to meet family and they started hedging, I offered to help get them settled. 'Sides, I'd wanted to square myself with Adora before they moved in anyway. Seemed like the perfect chance. And those two...they needed someone to support them. I almost wish me and Jeb had tried to convince them to take one of the properties out here. I know those kids want to be left alone, and I'm hardly one to talk, but I don't think they need to be so far off by themselves. Specially not with a baby coming. But they're not my kids. Maybe after they've had some time to heal. Who knows.

Anyway, Carl and Leanne were ready to be off the minute I said okay. I couldn't just let'em go. So I threw a pack together, wrote a quick note to Jeb and Ami, and left it by the letter glass.

Which is how you ended up not getting word, I think. I haven't talked to the kids yet to know for sure. It's about 3 in the morning near as I can figure and all the lights are out at their place. Your letters were on the porch, in the box. Near as I can figure, Jeb and Ami saw my note to them by the glass and figured I'd sent you a message that way. Course I'd only put the note there to make sure they saw it. I was counting on them relaying the news for me. I hope they told you. But the last letter here dates from Dec 16.

You could have asked them what happened to me, Kid. They would have told you.

You know, it was strange going back to the cabin after being gone from it for almost 3 years. And to help someone else move in and make it their own. It's a little strange coming back here, too, after being gone for so long. It'll be nice to see the kids again. Amalie wasn't showing too much when I left, but I'm guessing it's a different story by now. Jeb, I imagine, is much the same. I bet you've changed a lot in the year since I've seen you. You're growing up on me, Kid. You all are.

Right about here's where I'd normally end a letter that'd got so maudlin. Save face. But I figure you deserve better than that considering what all I put you through even if I didn't mean to do it. I mean it, DG. If I'd known what was going to happen I would have sent a letter from the cabin. Mail out there is even slower than from here, but you'd have got it before Christmas.

I didn't mean to hurt you, DG. I never have.

-Wyatt Cain

1/11

DG,

Blame Amalie and Jeb for your letter getting delayed. I stopped by to let them know that I had made it back home and to send your letter, and got attacked. Ami means as much to me as Jeb does, but the girl can talk you into the ground once she gets going. And as she reminded me it's been a month. She probably wouldn't appreciate it if I said so, but pregnancy looks good on her. Looks good on Jeb, too. I'm proud of him. Of them. It still hasn't quite sunk in that I'm going to be a grandpa.

So I hear tell your friend Jayson with a Y was in Finaqua for the Christmas Ball. And that he laid a guy out on your behalf? He sounds like a decent sort. What happened to the pistol in your purse? And I take it this year's ball was less family-oriented than last year's?

Give my regards to your parents, both sets, Princess Azkadellia, and Ambrose. I missed Raw passing through these parts. As I imagine you'll see him next, give him my regards as well.

I hope these letters find you well. I hope you can forgive me.

-Cain

* * *

Author's Note: It's been a disgustingly long time, I know. All my fault. The original idea was to post whole "annuals" on and individual sections to livejournal. Unfortunately, even my lj updates were distinctly lacking. So with that thought, I'm putting this story on the same update "schedule" as my lj. It will take me a couple of weeks to catch you guys up, and then we're all set. I'm not promising to have chapters sooner, (the muse honestly died on this one for a while) just that you won't have to wait years between updates.


	4. Annual Two: January to February

Chapter 2: Annual Two: January to February  
_(Author's Note: text in brackets are the equivalent of strike-throughs)_

January 16

Dear Mr. Cain,

Now that I've had almost a month to recover, I guess the Christmas ball wasn't so bad. You're right about it being less of a family affair than before. They've gotta marry me off and all that jazz. And every ball is a new opportunity, right?

Gag me with a spoon. And a real spoon, please. Anything to rescue me from the nightmare future my brain is trying to paint for me. I'm sure it won't be all that bad. I [just thought I'd]

Yeah, anyway, the ball. Yes Jayson with a Y was there with his dad and his brother and still-sorta-new sister-in-law. At least that's how he put it to me. He seemed kinda eager to get away from them all, too. He ended up spending most of his time with me and Glitch and Martricia. Do you remember Marty? She worked with Glitch in his lab? I swear she is probably the only person more dangerous than me in that lab. And yet she was _hired_ for the spot, while I all but get a boot in my rear whenever I get near a lab. So Marty hasn't destroyed several lab experiments in a row and caused forced baldness. Glitch's eyebrows are nearly as thick as they were this time last year before The Incident.

Anyway, talking about Jayson. He looked neat and put together. I won't tell you who designed and hand-tailored his suit or anything because then you'll fall asleep. (And how scary is it that I _know_ and _care_ about these things? Clearly my sister is rubbing off on me.) [Which would be bad.] I will tell you that he was kind enough to actually wear a suit and not one of those crazy get-ups that really should be banned from the OZ entirely, but Mother won't because she's nice and doesn't care so long as no one shows up naked. Yeah, I know you've heard this gripe. Glitch looked great too, by the way. He really cleans up well. It's the only time I really want to call him Ambrose. Not that he doesn't look good other times. But with the war over and stuff he gets to spend more time tinkering and less time advising. Which means more time looking Glitchy and less time looking Ambrose-y. So it's easy to forget about Ambrose. I don't know, he'll always be Glitch to me, Ambrose or not.

So I looked great. Again, not that you care, but Azkadellia is hovering and she insisted that I mention it. And if I have to mention that, then I should point out that she all but picked out the dress. No matter what she tells you in this supposed letter of hers that she is going to send out on her own. (Not that I believe her for a second. Seriously, Cain, I'm worried about Az. More than just the death threats and stuff, which I'm sure are still happening even if Dad and Captain Adderton aren't telling us anymore. But she's just so…I don't know. Anti-social isn't the word. Non-social? Shunned? That's more like it. I mean Az was the complete _belle_ of the ball, as we'd say back on the Otherside. As Dad and the Mominator and Popsicle put it, actually. Really drop dead, make-me-look-like-the-ugly-duckling-playing-dress-up, gorgeous. And she could barely get a nod of recognition. Okay, so there was more than that because she is still a Princess of the Realm and all that, but not anything more than what protocol demands from so so so many people. Our own servants were nicer. 'Course when you were here you made sure all of them were on the up and up, so that makes sense, but still. I can probably count on both hands which nobles were honestly nice/polite to her and have fingers left over. And that's not counting people like Jayson who are friends, y'know? Anyway…)

So despite the marriage-mart feel, I still managed to spend a lot of my time with Marty and Glitch and Jayson. Not enough, though. Don't know why Dad's taken it upon himself to be the one to make sure I go and "mingle" with all the suitable bachelors. I figure, though, they won't try anything too bad since they know he's watching. And mostly I've been right, which is why I left my pistol in my drawer. Yes, seriously, in my drawer. And Shane and Terry-Anne are never far doing their best to be intimidating. I'm still not sure how Shane does it. Terry-Anne, sure. She small and bull-dog-ish and looks like she can rip your throat out with her pinky.

Terry-Anne just walked by, so I asked her if she can rip a guy's throat out with her pinky. She said she could, but she preferred to use her middle finger because it's longer and gets a better grip! Hee! You bodyguard types. So funny with your impossible feats of guardianship. Cause she was totally joking, right Cain? Right. Uh huh.

Anyway, _Shane_ doesn't look scary. Not that she's much taller than me or Terry-Anne, but she's more, ahem, girly looking. Less of the hardened bull dog look that Terry-Anne has (though I've seen her feet and the calluses on her hands and they're just as broken-in looking as any working man's) but she does this thing with her eyes that can stop someone getting a touchy-feely notion at fifteen paces. Love them. Plus, they've stuck it out with me for two year. If that's not real strength then I don't know what is.

Can I tell you Mom and Dad were just… I still don't know how I feel about them. I know we've hashed this out before, too. I almost kinda envy you and Jeb. Sure you both thought the other was dead, which is really and truly awful. I'm not trying to [smallerize that] make that a small thing, cause it was horrible. But at least you knew he was your son and he knew you were his dad, no matter what horrible things happened to you. To me the Mominator and Popsicle are really Mom and Dad and- Well you know. But the longer I know them, or re-know them or whatever, and the more time I spend with them, especially with Mom and all this Queen-prep stuff, the more I just plain old _like_ them. Exactly like you said I would. My memory's still swiss cheese, but we're all trying really hard. Don't ask me why this is somehow easier with Azkadellia. Maybe because I didn't have a replacement sister on the Other Side? Maybe all that time I was really wanting or looking for that connection, and now that I have her it's all fixed in my head, but with the parents the connection _was_ "fixed" because I had Mominator and Popsicle. I dunno.

You know I really meant for this letter to be all about the ball and crazy stuff Glitch and Marty got into. Like I how I called Martricia "Tricia" once, just to try it out, and she spun around and around going "Where? Where?" Apparently Marty is a twin! She's girl-girl fraternal, and her sister's name is Patricia. And since they're named after their parents, Martin and Tracy, and Marty's the oldest by three minutes, she got the Marty and her sister got the Tricia! Just one of the many and strange tidbits I was _planning_ on sharing with you, only to do this instead.

Until next letter then? I mean I could write more and I _would_ write more, but somehow Tutor figured out that this is not in fact an official letter to one of the regions, but a personal letter to a distant friend. He's freakishly uncanny that way.

Suddenly Caught Out There,

DG

P.S. Don't worry about, y'know, everything. We'll get it worked out next year.

* * *

2/2

DG,

Just letting you know I got the novel. Winter's come hard round here. Got me and Jeb busy keeping ourselves dug out, Amelie comfortable, and helping out where we can. I keep thinking 'bout Carl and Leanne, the kids we sold the old place to. If it's hard here, it's worse there. Leanne wasn't too far along, so that's a blessing. Spring won't be kind.

Wish I had better advice for Azkadellia. Wish I could say folks would stop seein' the Sorceress and start seein' the Princess. Just never know, Kid. Folks've got long memories when they've been hurt, and the Sorceress hurt'em bad. Hurt Azkadellia too, but they don't want to see that. Some will. Some already do.

Here's a teaser for you, then I gotta get back to working. Shane? She's a triplet. And her brother and sister work for the royal family. Bet you'll never guess where. And you can't ask Shane. Nor tell her you know. Though I bet that last will be harder for you than figuring out who her people are.

My best to all your parents, Glitch, Azkadellia and the guards crazy enough to take you on. Raw come round your way yet?

-Cain


	5. Annual Two: February

Chapter 2: Annual Two: February_  
(__Author's notes: bracketed text are equivalent to strikethroughs. Please pay attention to dates. FF dot net has stripped the additional formatting needed to make this more readable.)_

February 13

Dear Mr. Cain,

I'm sitting here with my pulse in myhands. Literally. It's freezing in the castle (don't ask me why) and I am just so cold that I've got my left hand around my own neck. It's like this tiny furnace just pumping out heat, y'know?

Anyway, it's late. And I'm going over this crazy treaty which gets harder and harder to read as I go (just like college), and I thought about you. So here I am. Writing you about nothing really. How strange it is for the castle to be cold I guess. Maybe. I mean we're the royal family, and at least three of us are like scary powerful. But none of us are good with heating spells. Go figure. And there's something wrong withthe boiler or the plumbing, or the boiler _and_ the [blum] plumbing. I dn't know. This is stuff the steward takes care of, technically, but it all gets run past Dad first who runs it by _me_ so I can know what all goes on in just running a royal household. If it's really big he takes it to Mom. But mostly not. And I can see why. I'm not even having to deal with all this stuff, you know? and it's too much on my plate.

Okay so…that's my note. Aren't you proud of me? Not even one whole side of paper.

DG

P.S. I have not forgotten your challenge. I'm actually too busy to be distracted. Argh.

February 14

Another late night reviewing [treaties] trade agreements. Today's Valentine's Day on the other side. I know that doesn't mean anything to you but it does tome and Dad, and I guess to any other Slippers in the O.Z.. Anyway, it's one of the few days of the year that Dad can convince Mom to take a vacation, at least for a couple of hours. So I don't even know where they are. I'm guessing their bodyguards do and that's about it.

You probably don't remember Valentine's Day in the palace. I think it's the only place where it's really celebrated. All the visiting courtiers and dignitaries look around at the paper hearts and cut out cupids and wonder what crazy twilight zone they stepped into. And then the next day it's gone like it was never there. Hee. Any chance to mess with their heads is a good one. Mom wouldn't agree. At least not in public.

Mominator and Popsicle do something special every year, which I think is really cute especially now that we know they're robots. This year they took Az with them. No one's back yet.

Wouldn't it be funny if they all ended up in the same restaurant or something? I'm pretty sure the robo-rents are just going to dinner. For all I know that parents are in Dad's cabin—Never mind. I refuse to follow that thought through to its logical conclusion

Going to bed now,

DG

February 16

This, I think, will finally put me on to the backside of this page. Probably wuld have last letter, but handwriting gets more and more cramped the more tired I am. My 10th grade English teacher used to say he always knew when I'd done my homework at the last minute. And he was always right of course.

Valentine's came and went. Mominator, Popsicale and Az did go to dinner like I thought they might. Don't know what Mom and Dad got up to, but they were both on their posts on Friday, bright eyed and bushy tailed. Mom looked brighter of eye and bushier of tail than she has in a while, which is great, but there is _no way_ I am asking them how she got so fluffed and shiny. I may sometimes have trouble thinking of them as my real parents but that's too much info even from non-parents. Considering this is the OZ I think I have every right to imagine that Az and I were hatched, not conceived, and thus noactual you-know-what needed to happen between Mom and Dad. So there.

You won't get this (these?) letters for a while, but Mom announced today that she's sending help to the outlying regions b/c of how bad the winter's been. Actually you'll probably hear that message long before you get this. So that's good. When you write back you can tell me if it helped at all.

Working hard, sorta,

DG

Feb17th

Azkadellia's sick. She got sick at lunch. She was sick all afternoon. She's sick right now. Mother tried magic, and that made it worse. She's freaking out. Dad's freaking out too but [he's gotta help mom] he's been keeping mother together so he can't break down like he wants. I say poison. Not _to_ anyone 'cause no one else was poisoned. I even switched plates with her because I didn't want the stuff from Nod. But we all got served from the same dishes. So why Az and not us? I know you're thinking "food poinsoninghappens." But why Az and not us? Why can't magic help her. I tried something too and it didn't do anything. Mom and pop are taking care of her overnight. Dad finally got mom to go to bed, but I don't know if she's sleeping. I can't sleep. I've been up since last night with that stupid trade agreement

Am I paranoid, Cain? Send me a letter in a mth and tell me I'm crazy and I'll believe you. Wish you were here now. I need someone to talk to. Even Glitch isn't around. Him and Marty and the lab are working on making Az something. She's so sick, Cain. She's so sick.

Feb 17th around 1 pm

Az is still sick.

18th

Still sick. Mother's a wreck, but no one knows but us. Mom and Pop in constant attendance. Glitch and co. almost have a solution. Will try today.

19th

Still sick. My turn w/Az. Glitch's stuff didn't work. Don't wanna tell Mother. Told Dad my theory about the poison. We'll see wherethat goes. The fever just won't quit. Must've had a dozen maids and courtiers and all sorts come by with every home made treatment and hedge-witch brew you can imagine. She won't keep it down. We can barely keep her watered.

Feb 20th, 4 am?

Az is finally looking better. Fever broke around… I don't know. Fell aslep in her room in a chiar. My turn to watch her. Mom and Pop have been here all the time, of course. My body hurts. My brain hurts. Az is still sick, but Mom says the fever broke and she's holding down broth. She couldn't hold down broth before. She threw up what Glitch gave her. On his shirt. Shoulda been funny. Wasn't.

Mom's pushing me off to bed. She says two more lines and thats it or Pops'll carry me.

Az is better, Mother and Dad are coming, I still think poison but no one agrees. I know there's nothing you guys coulda done, but we miss you anyway.

DG

February 24th

Az got out of bed today. Shaky as a leaf on a brisk day, but she did it on her own steam. She's lost so much weight. She hardly looks like herself. Az jokes about it, but I think it weirds her out too.

Kingdom is still standing! Did you notice? Mother did a great job of holding it together in spite of everything. I guess she has practice. And isn't that a downer? Dad did a lot of the propping up and I'm sure she was happy to have him here this time. Mominator and Popsicle are off to re-charge. Maybe literally.

I feel like I should write to you about something else. How Central City is doing. The state of the Tin Men these days. National politics. Something more than Az and the family and stuff. But that's you stuff, right? It's not like I'm talking about strangers. If there was something dire going on out there, I'd want to know. I'd expect to hear about it from Amalie, of course, but I'd want you to tell me, too. I think I'd be a little hurt if you didn't. But guys are different. That stuff doesn't matter as much with you.

So with that thought: crime in Central City is down, but we're starting to see what we call on the Other Side "white collar" crime. Like business owners stealing from their own companies and stuff. Fancy folks crime, Pops always called it. Um, the Tin Men are as good as they ever were. I think. At least their court liaison is sharp as a whip. And national politics are just as convoluted and boring as you remember. Actually now that I'm studying them they're even more convoluted, but slightly less boring. Treaties and treatise are a pain in the behind, but the dignitaries? Crazy. Hilarious. Un-believable! So they're the less-boring part.

Hope to hear from you after first thaw. (Sooner if you deign to use Jeb and Ami's letter-glass.)

Sincerely,

DG

P.S. Azkadellia sends her love.

P.P.S In all of the crazy goings on I almost forgot to tell you. Raw and co. are wintering down in Finaqua. You know how they don't like the cold. Which I've never totally understood, but there it is. I don't know which way they're going to turn in the Spring.

* * *

**AN2**: This chapter should have gone up on Thursday, but I was out of town, and then in "recovery." There are 2-3 more chapters already written that need to be published before I'm caught up with myself.


	6. Annual Two: March

Chapter 2: Annual Two: March

3/28

DG,

Sorry it's been so long. This letter isn't proper, just a quick note to let you know the kids and I are all still alive. Which is why it's coming by glass, otherwise you know I'd rather not.

It has been a hard winter. We lost some good folks though we managed to gain a couple of good ones, too. That young couple that bought the old cabin? Jeb and I have been mighty concerned for them. Their baby won't come until the tail-end of summer, but there were some real bad snowstorms and it was weeks before anyone could go up or down the mountain to see about them. I mentioned how they pushed to get settled before the snows started, and they just made it. Personally, I think it would have been better to winter a little lower down the mountain just this one year. They certainly cut it mighty fine.

We've had our property and livestock to be concerned over, too. It's only a few horses, a cow, two goats and the chicken, but add the land and a woman who's 5 months pregnant, and that's more than enough for 3 adults to handle.

But spring's coming.

-Cain

* * *

March 28

Dear Mr. Cain,

I know how you feel about over-exuberant displays of affection, but I am not at all ashamed to say I jumped around and danced like a little girl when I saw your letter waiting for me in the glass. It's been so long since I've heard from any of you! And with no real news coming out of that part of the OZ except for how awful it's been I was really starting to worry. People actually tried to console me by telling me their winter horror stories! As if that was going to help!

"Well I remember the year it snowed mid-November and didn't seem to stop until Solstice." Which is a scary long time on the Other Side, but is even further away here! Or this one: "I'm sure they haven't started eating the cats yet, Highness." What? Eat cats? Please tell me that last one was actually a bad joke, because I've had cat-nightmares ever since. The barn cats we had on the Other Side were way more likely to eat ME in a bad winter, and in my dreams they've got me on trial for Crimes Against Felines. When I try to explain to them that I wasn't around during the cat-eating years, that I was, in fact, on the Other Side getting scratched bloody trying to feed them they tell me that as the reigning monarch I get to represent the entire country. When I point out that it's neither fair nor possible to punish everyone they reassure me that it's only me who's going to be whipped with a cat o' nine tails! Help save my sanity, Mr. Cain!

Of course now I've lost my train of thought. And Tutor has discovered me. Or I should say one of his pages has. These little squirts may be cute, but I swear they're chosen for their tracking abilities.

And Colin the Page just turned into Colin the beagle. Ha. That explains a lot. Did you know that tiny little Portia turns into a snarling mountain cat? And because cats have shorter lifespans, she's nearly full-sized as a cat? Or so says Colin the Page. (This kid is so adorable it hurts.)

In less happy news, Az hasn't been the same since the poisoning. Not that anyone else is calling it that but me, mind you. I don't know if she's still feeling the effects of her illness or if she's depressed. As if either would be better. It hurts me to see her like this. And not just me but Mom and Dad and the robo-rents and Glitch. Everyone we're close to. It's certainly revealed who really believes she was possessed vs. who doesn't. Except that Mom can't exactly banish someone for not liking Az, so long as they aren't disloyal to the crown.

Colin's getting anxious. Send everyone my love. Amalie must be HUGE! I miss you all so much.

Sincerely,  
DG


	7. Annual Two: April

Chapter 2: Annual Two: April

4/17

DG,

There's an apothecary in Central City, not too far from the Tin Man headquarters. You can ask just about any Tin Man in the city where he is, unless it's a young fellow whose still green around the ears. The apothecary's been in the same location for almost thirty years. His name may be Smith. Tell him Azkadellia's symptoms. If your father and Captain Adderton haven't managed to keep this in the castle, he'll be able to tell them to you. He's an honest man who won't be bought and doesn't sell what he oughtn't. If he thinks it was poison, he'll tell you. If he thinks otherwise, he'll tell you that. He used to be real busy, and imagine it's still the same. Tell him I sent you and that should get his attention. The only real problem you might have is finding him. On the Force he was known for not being around just as much as his immense knowledge-base.

And the next time you're in a spot, send me a note by glass, kid. I know what I said about the glass before, and most of it still holds true, but I'm here if you need me.

-Cain

April 15

Duly noted, Tin Man. *smile*

DG

* * *

April 23

I was right. Mr. Smith promises it will work itself out of her system in time, but without knowing what it was he can't say when or even that Az will go completely back to normal. Sorry for the awful strikehandriting handiting handwritting/strike penmenship. I snuck over to Mr. Smith's shop while Mom, Dad and I were in town and I was lucky enough to get the carriage to myself on the way back. I had to get this down before we get home.

Thank you, thank you, thank you Mr. Cain. I hate being right, but it's better than wondering.

DG

* * *

**Author's Note: **Sorry for the late posting. It's been one of those weeks. I actually remembered on Wednesday that I had to post on Thursday, only to not go online at all Thursday after work. By the time I remembered on Friday I was ready for bed. I don't have a good reason for Saturday... Anywho, the next chapter's longer.


	8. Annual Two: April to May

Chapter 2: Annual Two: April to May  
(Author's Note: Please note that bracketed text indicates something that should appear as a strikethrough.)

April 29

Dear Mr. Cain,

One of Shane's triplets is a boy and his name is Hamilton, isn't it? I haven't cheated, although I have done some investigative work. Once we got rid of the hangers on after the Winter Ball, things got really slow around here, what with Central City all but immobilized by snow. Shane thought it was funny-and investigating with two guards in tow isn't easy, btw-which makes me wonder if you told her about your challenge. Oddly enough Mom was really proud of me once I explained why I was being so surreptitiously nosy. Apparently being sneaky is a great trait for ruler to have? Not that she put it that way, of course, but that's what she meant. Dad was all chip-off-the-old-block, but that wasn't a surprise. He's only in charge of security, that's all. Anyway, something else to add to my ever growing list of Shocking Job Description Of Sitting Monarchs. I'm telling you, a tell-all book would sell like hotcakes on the Other Side. I don't know why only Glitch and Az are behind me on this. Even Popsicle and the Mominator are anti, and they agree that I'm right.

Anyway...

Jayson is in town with his father and brother on business. The trade routes through the Deadly Desert finally opened up earlier this month, although some of them have been touch and go. It's the wind. Blows land-ships off into the middle of nowhere if people are lucky, and right off the map if they're not.

You know what's crazy? I always cared about this stuff before. Even if I hadn't turned out to be royalty, this is about people and their livelihoods. You don't have to be an miner to sympathize with a family after a cave-in. But now that I really _know_ all this stuff about Ozian trade, albeit mostly from Jayson's side of things as a merchant, oh _boy_ do I care about which trade routes are open vs. the ones that are iffy, and about the number of land-ships that get damaged or lost. I knew studying those trade agreements last year was something important I had to do, but I thought it'd only be useful in, like trade negotiations with our neighbors and allies. I had no idea it'd make me care about the OZ and my people more. Which kind of makes it sound like I didn't care about the OZ before, but you know what I mean. It was all academic and really dry. Now it's people and fortunes and jobs and whether we get some of the things we've come to rely on over the last 100 years - things even the Sorceress wouldn't blockade.

Sorry, I didn't mean to get off on a tangent. I really just meant to mention that Jayson's in town. I went to visit Glitch in the lab (well, outside the lab) and J was sitting in one of the seats for the pages. He looked like he was waiting to be called for the doctor - you know, sorta nervous? - instead of a friend. So I plopped down next to him and we started talking, and things have been so crazy with trading through the Deserts it was tops on the conversation list. We had been going at it for a solid 15 when Marty popped out instead of Glitch. Looking very pleased, Jayson said "You've been studying up on Ozian import and export issues." You would have thought he had something to do with it. I couldn't be mad though, because I _had_ been studying, if not on purpose, and it's nice to see all this crap Mom and Dad and Tutor make me do every day has real, practical application!

Aaand Mom has apparently been reading over my shoulder. Guess how I know. No, really, guess.

If you guessed an exclamation of "DG! Of course the things we've been teaching you have practical application...!" Then ding ding ding! You get the prize.

So twenty minutes and one semi-serious, semi-disappointed conversation later, I'm back. It's not that I [didn't believe] don't believe that what I'm doing and learning is important, but I couldn't really see it before. Which I tried to explain to Mom at first with not so great results. It's like being at college. Or I guess University here. You do a lot of work and study a lot of stuff that you're told you need to prepare you for your profession, but some of it you think is just to get you to take the credits to get you out of school - or to give some tenured prof's nephew a questionably deserved paycheck. Or high school math (if there're no HS'es in the OZ I have no idea what to use as an equivalent). The only person who probably never asked when they'd ever use it again is Glitch-as-Ambrose. And that was probably because he had taken over teaching the class himself about midway through.

Anyway, Mom says hi.

Now I can't remember what I wanted to write. Crud.

Anyway, Az is getting better, Dad is himself, the robo-rents are actually really really well. They weren't exactly made to serve the crown or to live their lives for me, but it's what they've spent a lot of their lives doing and, y'know, they are my parents - they are in robo-heaven. I mean you've seen it. It's more of same. Sometimes I don't know if they've adopted all of us universally (except Glitch-I think they're scared he'll try to work on them) or if they're Mom's and Dad's older siblings, or our Great-aunt and -uncle. I don't know if I could do this without them. I think the jump from small town girl trying to run away from home, to magic-wielding princess of a parallel universe wouldn't have been as manageable without something to ground me to who I had been.

Anyway, Mom is fine, as you can see. So are Glitch, Marty, Shane and Terry. Shane and Terry request more words of wisdom and perhaps a training manual. I suggested the manual.

Haven't seen Raw, but I expect him in a few days, maybe two weeks on the outside. Ugh, and the Spring parties start soon. Save me, Tin Man.

I'd ask you how Amalie and Jeb are getting on but we both know that's silly *grin* Can't wait to be an honorary auntie! How's it feel to be a granddad? Gonna child-proof the woods?

Anyway, this letter feels long I wonder if it will read that way. I miss you, Mr. Cain. You should come up with Jeb and Ami after the baby is born. Or meet us in Finaqua. Raw will be there. It'll be like a reunion.

Sincerely,

DG

P.S. How's the young couple who are living in your old cabin. They've been on my mind.

* * *

5/14

DG,

Carl and Leanne have been on my mind as well. It's finally thawed enough for me and Jeb and some of the women in town to check on them in the morning. Amalie wants to go, as I'm sure you already know or will by the time this letter gets to you but, wet as everything is, it's just too dangerous. You're right, she's huge, and carrying low. Not that she cares. Cain men only have stubborn wives. Nothing would ever get done otherwise, I suppose. Anyway, Jeb flat out forbade her to go. You could hear them arguing halfway to town, which is about where I was when I heard them. If Ami hasn't told you all about it already, ask your sister if she knows anything. She thinks of you both as kin, you know, but she knows you and Jeb are close. It wouldn't surprise me if she didn't want to badmouth him to you. Though, in all honesty, if Jeb hadn't done I would have.

And I'm proud of you for finding one of Shane's siblings. Only one left, kiddo.

As for the Queen, your mother: Someday you're going to have kids, and not too long after that they'll be grown enough to have their own thoughts about their world. Trust me, Kid, some of those thoughts are going to lay you right out.

-Cain

5/15

B/c I know you'll want to know: the kids up on the mtn are OK. The town midwife doesn't like how small Leanne has gotten. She thinks she might lose the baby, but she doesn't want to tell them yet. She hasn't told anyone but me and Jeb since we're the closest nghbrs they got. We'll see

-Cain

* * *

**A/N2**: Once again I apologize for the late delivery. As I said to someone I'm beta'ing for, life has come at me extra hard this week. I've officially caught up with myself as of 12/19/10. I have another set of letters in the works, but next week is likely to be as crazy as this past one. I hope to post new work between now and New Years. Feel free to poke me if don't ;)


	9. Annual Two: May to June

Chapter 2: Annual Two: May to June

May 15

Dear Mr. Cain,

Tell Carl and Leanne that my thoughts and prayers are with them. Or maybe not since they don't know about Leanne's condition. Whatever you think is best. I know childbirth is really dangerous. It was still the number 1 killer of women on the Other Side the last time I heard the statistics a few years ago.

It seems silly now to talk about the first few balls of the season, so I won't. Next letter, maybe.

Thank you for letting me know what's going on.

Concerned,  
DG

May 17

By the time you get this we'll be on our way to Finaqua for the Summer. It still seems silly to talk about the Spring balls. Having them at all honestly seems silly these days. Not in the way I always complain about these things. It's not having to dress up, or feeling like I'm being paraded around, or wondering if I'm going to inadvertently say something stupid that's going to end up in the paper tomorrow. Anyway, I'm a lot better than I was that first year so it's not even as big a concern. (Dare I say I'm comfortable? Az and I were talking about it one morning after breakfast and before my History lesson. She was the one who accused me of finally starting to feel like I belong. I accused her of being a big fat liar. She accused ime/i of calling her fat, then it all went downhill. It was fun.)

I guess I'm becoming more sensitive to the OZ's needs. All the food we're going to have? Largely wasted. My dress and all the other new clothes everyone's having made? The OZ has orphanages overflowing with kids who probably haven't had new, unworn clothes since the war started. And the musicians and staff working the balls?

Okay, I haven't actually figured out something better and less selfish they could be doing that would both benefit the most people without, y'know, making the musicians/castle staff beggars. But I bet there's something! And I know the food at the ball won't actually go to waste. You only think you've had leftovers until you're eating pancakes with swan sausage for breakfast, swan and swiss sandwiches for lunch with a side of crystallized rose petal salad, and swan noodle soup for dinner. I really wish I hadn't asked what that bird was. Anyway...

My point is not that our chefs can make any random food interesting for several days after it's first table appearance, but that they shouldn't have to. Maybe it's the Other Side American in me, but it just feels like an extravagant waste of time, funds and resources. To me it's not a show of strength, power and wealth, no matter what Tutor tells me. And Az. And the robo-rents. And half of everyone I've even obliquely asked. Which is why I'm not asking you, Mr. Cain. I'm stating my position and you're just going to have to live with it.

Sincerely,  
DG

* * *

5/29

DG,

I don't know whether to applaud your concern for your subjects and disgust at royal excesses, or duck and hide. Until the Sorceress, no one much minded the Monarchy. Most folk loved the House of Gale and its daughters right where they were. I don't know how much Outer Zone history you've studied with Tutor, but you'll see we've had our good Queens and our bad ones, even a King or two, though that never lasted. Somehow, the OZ always stood fast. Something or someone better always came along, or there was a fortunate death. The OZ hadn't suffered like it did under the Sorceress in more than a thousand years. I'm sorry to tell you, kid, but the people like having a Queen and everything that comes with it. They may grumble and gripe now, but history's proved they'll change their minds soon enough. But will you. Your Kansas is a city-state in Amrika, with a Prime Minister? Thumbumbu to the South have a Prime Minister. Watch out for him. He may be married but he's got a wandering eye to go with a pair of wandering hands.

Did Shane and Terry ever get the manual I sent them? I haven't heard back.

-Cain

* * *

May 20

Dear Mr. Cain

Sorry about the last letter. I don't even know if you've gotten it yet, but I just went back to my stationary set for the first time since I writing it and there's ink splattered all around the marble inkwell, and I can half read my letter to you three sheets down. That's how hard I was pressing. And the ink bled through in places, which I thought I'd gotten past doing. An angry DG is a messy DG, apparently. Where's Tim Gunn to tell you to get out of your head when you need him?

Anyway...I guess we'll see what you letter says.

Sincerely embarrassed,  
DG

* * *

June 8

Dear Mr. Cain,

Thank you for not raking me over the coals. You're making it hard to return the favor, though. No Cains are coming to Finaqua for any of the balls? No fair, I say, no fair. I know I said I was all excited to have a honorary-niece or -nephew, but this kid is putting a serious cramp in my plans. Okay, I know he or she will be more than worth it, and I can't wait to have wiggly baby to spoil rotten (and, omigosh, mental pictures of Jeb holding his son or daughter? Awesome!) but right now the prenatal version of the Cain men is a bit of a pain. World's cutest pain, I'm sure, but a pain. And don't worry, I've already vented plenty of spleen to Amelie. She vented right back.

"You're mad because we can't come for the Spring Balls? I can't even see my feet, let alone dance on them. Oh, and let's not get into how swollen they are. Plus I'm red and splotchy and I have to pee all the frickin' time." So Ami kinda won hands down, and probably will continue to do so until Baby Cain is in University or married, whichever comes first.

Speaking of University, the University of the OZ, Central Campus, is having their first graduation since they shut down during the war. Glitch's office sent a memo - I should say Ambrose's office since it came from the Office of the Adviser and not the lab. I wonder how long he can keep juggling both roles. I know Glitch picked up more duties and responsibilities as the war really got going and we started losing people, but it seems like no one's told him he can let some of them go. Anyway, Ambrose's office sent a memo about the graduation about two weeks ago and I thought it was a typo. The University reopened last year, shouldn't they have also had a graduation? Actually, they technically opened two years ago since academic years are weird (even weirder than on the Other Side, which is saying a lot I think), but decided to make all returning students retake a year. I kinda see the logic, but I also feel bad for all those kids and their parents. Someone from the monarchy sits on their Board (it's bad that I can't remember whether we have a minister of education, isn't it?) so it's gotten the royal okay. Still, though...

Anyway, we leave for Finaqua this week, and the graduation is the Monday after. Mother's speaking, and I want to go with her. You know I'm technically a college drop-out. I never did finish on the Other Side. I wonder if it will be weird being on a campus again, or really familiar. Or maybe too weird to connect to at all, since the entire OZ seems stuck in the 40s. Don't get me wrong, it was a really fashionable time, but sometimes I want to wear trousers that sit on my hip-bones, not my rib-cage. And I look better with lower-waisted slacks. It's Az that got the sexy hourglass figure. I'll be doing my impression of a bean pole for the rest of my life, at least let me accentuate what few bean-bump-curves I have.

So, University set in the 40s...there will be women there, right? Just because you like pearls and gloves and for guys to wear real hats doesn't mean you believe in women not getting a degree, right? One doesn't just, y'know, follow the other, right? The OZ has a Queen after all.

Okay, I think I just talked myself onto and then off of a cliff. It's time to sleep. Night Mr. Cain.

DG

* * *

**AN: **Sorry for the extreme wait from the last post to this one. I'd thought this would be ready earlier, and then I thought I needed more content, only to discover that I had plenty of content. (This is what I get for writing on my blackberry.)


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